First, we promise that these will be the last posts dealing with charity work, death, strife or general misery. From here on out, it’s all pure vacation fun. Having said that; the last six days have been among the most enlightening and rewarding in our lives.
We had made the decision after falling in love with Asia on our last trip to find ways to give back for all we were getting from this magnificent place. Rare is the opportunity to be hands-on and actually see the difference you can make in someone’s life with so little. For anyone interested in getting involved, please feel free to contact us for information. You won’t be sorry!
After another amazing 30 minute flight, this time on Siem Reap Airways, we arrived in the Cambodian capitol of Phnom Penh. The moment you pull out of the airport parking lot you can feel the difference between this city and the countryside community of Siem Reap. Gone were the ever present Khmer smiles, replaced instead by a sort of cynical stare. There is grit and heaviness in this city. It’s dusty, dilapidated in parts and seems locked in a bygone era.
We made our way into town and checked into Raffle’s Le Royal Hotel. Walking into the lobby one immediately feels transported back in time to the early 1970s. You almost expect reporters to be gathered together discussing the Vietnam War or the impending closure of the American Embassy. It is disturbing and exhilarating at the same time.
We quickly threw our bags into our room, (which also looks as if it has not been altered since 1976), hired a tuk-tuk for the afternoon and set off for The Killing Fields.
It’s a half an hour drive out of town through busy streets lined with clothing factories and tiny food stalls. There are no traffic lights or stop signs; it’s just drive slowly enough that if you collide you hopefully don’t kill anyone. We turned down a dirt road and travelled for about a mile until we eventually came to a small, unassuming gate. The driver stopped and said, “Killing Fields….I’ll wait for you.” We paid $2 admission, and walked into possibly the most graphic monument we’ve ever seen.
The Killing Fields Memorial is situated in the center of what was once a series of mass graves, which Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge used to “dispose” of their victims. It is a simple white pagoda filled with a tower of human skulls, bones and clothing that were excavated from the location after the regime fell. The remains are inches from you without any glass enclosure or emotional buffer. You come face to face with the gruesome reality of what happened on this land. There are signs telling you that groupings of skulls were children, or elderly women. It is obvious from the skulls how these people died making the horror inescapable. We stood there for a long time with our mouths hanging open wondering how on earth anyone could have allowed this to happen.
We spent the next hour wandering through the series of open mass graves. Some have signs on them letting you know how many bodies they recovered in that spot and in what condition they were found. Some had been filled with women and children. It is a nightmarish spot to stand in, knowing that people spent their last moments there in absolute terror and died for no reason by the hands of their own people.
We left The Killing Fields and didn’t speak for a while. We couldn’t really find words to describe it, but we were glad we’d seen it first hand. Having killed fully a third of the population and affecting virtually every family, the genocide that the Khmer Rouge inflicted on these people is something that is still very much a factor in today’s Cambodia.
While doing trip research a few months ago, Rebecca found an NGO, (non governmental organization), called Daughters Cambodia whose goal is to get young women / children out of the sex trade. She had scheduled a mid-afternoon appointment with Ruth Elliot, the founder of the organization to see the facility, meet some of the girls and find ways to help.
Sex trafficking is a massive problem here, and girls as young as 5 are sold by their families into brothels. The only way to get them out is to give them an alternate source of income, as most owe a “debt” to the brothel owners for money lent to their families and also feel an obligation to send money back home.
We met Ruth at a nearby hotel and went with her to their building. When we first walked in we saw a group of very small children sitting on the floor in front of a chalk board. She explained that these were children of sex workers, and they were trying to educate them early so that they would have a chance at a semi-normal life. Next she brought us upstairs to meet some of the girls who are in the Daughters program. Some have been there for awhile, and some have just come in within the last week or so. The decision to leave the brothel and learn a new trade is something that is left up to them. They come when they want to, and eventually they start to feel that they can do something more with their lives. So far 23 of the girls have managed to leave the sex industry completely, and there are many others beginning the process. A big day around there is when you see a girl smile for the first time.
Rebecca and Ruth had been working for awhile via email on a plan but having never met, neither really knew what to expect from the other. Though neither was what the other expected, they hit it off and recognized each other as two people with a common goal. Together, they came up with a small-business plan to teach the girls sewing skills in order to create a product line using the abundant local silks, which we will then sell through our website for their benefit. Rebecca took the first leap of faith months ago and funded their purchase of sewing machines, supplies and an air-conditioner to get them started. By the time we arrived it was up and running.
Ruth and her crew had already taught the girls to use the machines and gotten them to make some samples based only on Rebecca’s emails. They sat on the floor in a large group to review the work, which was almost perfect. The girls could not get enough of Rebecca. They sat and stared with intense interest as she commented and made a few slight changes. Their excitement at her approval, (and their fascination at her white skin), could not be contained. It was hard at times to imagine these smiling girls in their former lives and hopefully, with time, they can help many others to get out.
We are proud to be heading back to Miami with bags full of silk sashes, ring pillows and flowers that will help to provide a steady alternate income and potentially a shot at a decent life for these girls who have endured more at a young age than most of us can comprehend. It was a truly rewarding thing to see how their lives can be changed through something like this. All of the products will be available on our site (www.whiteaisle.com) beginning December 1st.
After all this we were drained and hungry so we returned to the hotel-from-days-gone-by to meet Patti and Corey for dinner. We enjoyed a seafood extravaganza with good friends and managed to actually feel normal again before too long.
Part II - CCF
We tried to sleep in, but still ended up awake by 7:00 am for Day 2 in Phnom Penh. Months ago we’d discovered another NGO in the area called Cambodian Children’s Fund. They are run by Scott Neeson, an ex-Hollywood movie executive who came to Cambodia in 2003 on vacation, saw the impoverished conditions people were living in, gave up his job, sold his belongings, and decided to open a center to help poor children. He focused mainly on families living (yes… we said living) in the local waste dump called Steung Meanchey. These children and their families live literally on top of the landfill waste and pick through the garbage all day in search of recyclables to sell for a penny per pound. Scott is a true hero and has been able to affect the lives of hundreds of children by offering them food, shelter, education and vocational training.
We began sponsorship of two children at his facilities several months ago. Their names are Tep Sila and Sok Kheang. Sila is 15 while Sok Kheang is 16. We have corresponded with them for a while via e-mail and gotten to know a little about them. Today was the day we were going to meet face to face.
CCf has four facilities and a community aide center. We started at CCF1 where Sila lives with his younger brother. We arrived shortly after 10:00 am and were greeted by Rebecca’s contact, Annabel, who Dade expected to receive some instructions from regarding the visit. No instructions were forthcoming. She gave us a quick tour of the place while they rounded up Sila.
After about 5 minutes we saw the smile we had come to know from the pictures we were sent. Sila made a dash for Dade and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. He is shy, to say the least, but craved affection and was so happy to have someone interested in him that he would barely let go. After a short while his friends gathered around and we all sat together on the floor basically just looking at each other.
In his e-mails, Sila had said several times that his favorite activity was playing soccer. We brought him a couple of good soccer balls from the USA as gifts along with a pump, a Miami Dolphins shirt from Ann and a couple of other shirts. He was blown away. He was also the new hero among his friends because of his new American friends. He immediately invited his friends to share the gifts even though he has nothing to call his own. There was no sense of “mine” or of selfishness. Likewise, his friends did not seem jealous nor did they appear to covet his new things. It was moving beyond belief to see them behave in this way. Can you imagine children at home during Christmas acting in that way?
We spent the next hour or so just hanging out together unable to really speak, which was probably fine with him. His brother’s sponsors were also in town and offered to take the boys swimming at their hotel so we agreed to see him later and set off in a tuk-tuk for CCF4 where Sok Kheang lives.
CCF4 holds 66 teenage girls ranging in age from 14-18. Sumner Redstone, the chairman of Viacom, recently funded its construction. The location serves as a full time residence, education center, and vocational training facility. The first thing you see when you enter the gates is The Star Bakery, where the girls are learning to make breads and cookies. Each girl is also sent home with two loafs of vitamin enriched “nutritional” bread to give to their families each weekend. The smell was fantastic, and of course we couldn’t help trying a bit of everything they’d made.
We entered the residence and Sok Kheang came into the room immediately. She said nothing, but ran to Rebecca and wrapped herself around her. She was so shy that she made Tep Sila seem talkative, but like Sila she wanted affection. She had a death grip on Rebecca’s arm for the next couple of hours, and just seemed to want to be held. We asked her a few questions, were introduced to her friends, and just sat with her for while. We also gave her some gifts we’d picked up along the way including a t-shirt from Ann, and some make-up brushes she could use for cosmetology training. She just held everything in one of her hands, not knowing exactly what to do with it. At 4PM she would be returning to her Aunt’s house at the garbage dump. She spends Saturday night and Sunday there with her brothers and sisters. Saying goodbye to her, and knowing where she was heading was simply heart breaking.
We headed back to CCF1 mid-afternoon as Annabel had arranged for us to be able to visit the dump. Rebecca wanted to see first hand the full scope of the situation, and take some photos which would hopefully inspire more people to get involved. We piled into a 4 wheel drive vehicle with a driver, a bunch of pairs of rubber boots and both Annabel and Chamrouen (our other contact). We drove down the main road for about 10 minutes, and then pulled off into a dirt covered area, which we were told is the way that the garbage trucks enter the dump. We followed them in.
What we then saw before us the English language has no words for. If hell exists, we found it in a ghetto of Phnom Penh. There is toxic smoke rising from burning mountains of decomposing trash and being blown through the air. Shelters consisting of a few poles and a piece of thin plastic are placed right on top of the newest layer of garbage. Children are running barefoot over medical waste and broken glass to try to get to the back of the trucks pulling in. All color seems to have been erased, and everything goes grey. The stench is something difficult to define, but something we will remember for the rest of our lives. It was the most horrendous, unexplainable place we’ve ever seen, and to try to sum it up in a paragraph or two seems ridiculous. Rebecca took the photos shown below (more in the "Cambodia" photo album). We hope that they can convey in some way how the people of Steung Meanchey live. There is no humanity left there.
We left Steung Meanchey in a state of disbelief and headed to the CCF Community Center. It’s a recent addition to their facilities and offers medical care and shelter when necessary to the families of the children they are housing at CCF1-4. They explained that the people of the dump are drinking well water that contains arsenic, so they are all being slowly poisoned. They actually buy this water from the local warlord and accrue continuous debt while being poisoned. They also have severe respiratory problems from inhaling the toxins, burns from the chemicals and cuts from debris. Not to mention that domestic violence is the norm there, and the police (who earn $12 a month) turn a blind eye to it. The good news is that this center exists, and they are trying to build up the community around it. We are hopeful they’ll receive additional funding and be able to expand very soon!
We finished our day back at CCF1 saying goodbye to Sila, and then headed out to a dinner (and a couple of very strong drinks) down by the riverfront. The day was a brutal experience, but one we’re really happy we had. It showed us both the desperation of these people and the hope that still exists in the next generation.
Hello Rebecca. I'm a repeat customer and have given a lot of other friends and brides your website. As most of the posts above have said, weddings are pretty much about "me" mentality. It's hardly ever that anyone looks outside themselves for helping. I'm glad you are helping young girls better themselves by tapping into the million/billion dollar wedding industry and giving them a skill that they can use. Keep up the good work, and I hope that you guys can add veils and silk gloves to the product line, to give more business to the girls. Thank you for all your humanitarian efforts and looking beyond.
Posted by: J. C. | November 06, 2009 at 06:42 PM
After searching the internet for custom works in silk & pink ribbons to use as a high-end fundraising item, I came across your website. As another who is devoted to philanthropic works, I applaud your dedication to "giving something back". If everyone would do something, not for personal gain, but just for the betterment of mankind, what a wonderful world this could be! Thank you for making a difference, for caring, for setting the example and for believing that everyone deserves a lifetime!
In strength, hope, courage & faith....
Bravo!
Posted by: JeanMarie | November 17, 2008 at 08:19 PM
I, like many others, found White Aisle while scouring the Internet for wedding inspiration. Instead, I found something much more important and enlightening. After reading through your travel blog on Cambodia and the amazing work you are doing to help humanity, I feel humbled. Thank you for sharing your journeys and experiences with us all. You are AMAZING and I agree with Krista -- your compassion is undeniable. I will most definitely supporting you and the Daughters program through purchasing items from your store and will share with everyone I know your websites and work. Thank you again and God bless you and all those who's lives you touch.
Posted by: Evelyn | November 12, 2008 at 10:08 PM
I admit that I visited whiteaisle.com with the intentions of just looking for the 'perfect' pair of earrings for my wedding day. I've searched online all day...wasting hours upon hours of time with my vain ambition. It's 9:45 PM and this was my last stop. I was immediately impressed with your website and products, but I am even more touched by your outreach projects. Your compassion and selflessness with others is undeniable. I commend you for your work and will be buying products from you in support. Thank you for allowing me to see the need and for allowing me to step out of this self consumed, wedding planning world I've been absorbed in. My prayers are with you!
Posted by: Krista | August 07, 2008 at 09:56 PM
thanks for posting this. i'm a cambodian american and i visited Choeung Ek for the first time 2 years ago. it was incredibly heartbreaking.
a soon-to-be bride in the wedding planning process, i'm overwhelmed by all the consumerism and lavishness of american weddings, and how it juxtaposts the broken history where my family comes from. but seeing your blog and reading about your work in cambodia gives me some reconciliation that people who work in the wedding planning industry have a heart for humanity too.
thank you.
Posted by: Kbok | December 16, 2007 at 12:07 AM
I sat here reading this in tears. Looking at the expressions on the faces of the children at Steung Meanchey is also a grim reminder of the link between peace and justice. These kids are going to be the next generation to inflict misery on Cambodia if we don't find a way to help them out of that garbage heap.
Love,
Mom
Posted by: Christine Garrison | November 11, 2007 at 09:55 AM