We once wrote a post on this blog entitled, “Bangkok Is Like Home”. I guess it was our third trip here when it really started to feel comfortable and like a place we belonged. Anytime we spoke of traveling to Asia, Rebecca would be sure to try to include a few days here in the itinerary because she couldn’t get enough of this city or its people. To her, Bangkok was like a home away from home.
One of the reasons I loved traveling with Rebecca so much was because it was the only time that she felt honestly normal. She wasn’t constantly consumed by thinking about her disease but, it was impossible to escape while at home because there was always some doctor to visit or some medication to replenish or some scan to have and that wore on her. More than anything, she wanted to just be herself and to not be “Cancer Girl”, as she would say. Those trips provided the normalcy she craved and allowed her to leave that all behind and just be Rebecca.
Those were also my happiest times because I wanted nothing more out of life than her happiness and being able to see her relieved of her incredible burden, if only for a few weeks, was beautiful for me. I think about it now and I think that’s how you know you love someone completely – when their happiness is all it takes to make you happy. That’s the kind of love we shared.
One of her goals for this New Year was to take a trip with Shaun. They shared a wanderlust that was insatiable and would often speak of the places they had visited and the ones they wanted to see.
With that in mind, I wanted to be sure that this trip included all of her top spots in Bangkok. It was also important to me to share Rebecca’s Bangkok with Shaun because I know how much she would have loved to have been here with him. Of course, there’s another side to that. It makes me deeply sad that she can’t be here and that I will never walk these streets with her again and see the joy that this place brought to her face.
We arrived late in the evening and it took a long time to get through the airport formalities. By the time we got to our hotel, it was about 10:00 PM. There was a tiny bit of hotel drama but it all worked out and by 11:00 PM we were showered and out the door to grab a drink.
When in Bangkok and looking for late-night fun, Pat Pong Night Bazaar is the place and that’s where we went. Shaun had heard of the famous red light district and wanted to see what the fuss was about and I’m always up for some freak watching. We made our way there and found that the corner table at “King’s Corner”, where Rebecca and I had sat at on every trip here, was available so we sat down and ordered a couple of Singha beers. It took all of 30 seconds before we were under siege by the “lady-boys” of Pat Pong. The best part was that they basically ignored me and swarmed Shaun, who was so embarrassed he turned red as a beet. When Shaun explained that he was gay, our kind lady-boy offered to sell him our waiter. She was such a giving soul that she offered to organize a four-way for us all. Sweet girl….boy…..whatever.
After a couple of beers, some food and their very generous offer of paid group sex, we made the move and walked over to the gay street, (which seems silly because most of the “girls” on the regular street are actually boys), and grabbed a booth at one of the many street-front bars. While this street is every bit as decadent as the other, we were not accosted at all or offered any type of “service”, if you know what I mean. We had another beer and watched the madness for about an hour before getting tired and heading back to the hotel, which was a wonderful opportunity for Shaun’s first Tuk Tuk experience. Rebecca loved to travel Bangkok by Tuk Tuk and Shaun immediately felt the same way.
The following morning, our first actual day in Bangkok, I figured that we would do what Rebecca would have done if she was here so we hailed a cab and went to Wat Pho for a massage. Rebecca loved this hole-in-the-wall Thai massage place and for good reason. It’s down a smelly alley, adjacent to the dried fish stands but the girls are excellent and the price is dirt cheap. Shaun was a tiny bit apprehensive at first but was made a believer within minutes.
We left there and walked across the street to Wat Po Temple because there was something there that Shaun HAD to see…..the Temple of the Reclining Buddha. The moment I entered the room containing the massive golden sculpture, I was overcome with both sadness and happiness. I was happy thinking about the way Rebecca’s face looked when she first laid eyes on it but I was again profoundly saddened that I would never see that look on her beautiful face again. I watched Shaun as he experienced it for the first time and was again struck by how similar he and Rebecca are. He found all the same angles to take pictures from and was obviously seeing it through her eyes as I had hoped he would.
Unable to control it, I wept openly as we walked around the room. I was inconsolable.
The room is lined on one side with 108 offering bowls and the sound of coins being dropped into them by the devout creates an eerie melody that is almost musical. I purchased two cups of coins and Shaun and I made the traditional offering in Rebecca’s honor, just like she had done during every visit there. As I placed a coin into each bowl, I whispered the traditional chant of Om Mani Padme Om in tribute to the woman I love. By the 108th bowl, I began to feel a little better.
It occurs to me now that some of you may be asking, “why all the Buddhism?” So that we’re all on the same page, Rebecca was not a Buddhist. She was raised a Catholic and remained one until she passed. She prayed every day and did so to Jesus Christ and the Holy Trinity. However, she was deeply spiritual and was moved by religions around the world. I remember the first time we visited The Vatican and how we both wept for no reason just being there. We reacted the same way in the Blue Mosque in Istanbul. There is something about those places that is magical and you can feel it if you are willing to open your heart to it. Rebecca lived her live with that open heart and was able to feel the power in these holy places. If she had chosen Istanbul or Italy as the place she wanted this to be done, I would have found a way to honor her according to their local custom. But, she chose these places, loved the pureness of their spirituality and I believe this is what she would have wanted.
We were both also moved by the devotion it must have taken to build such magnificent things for the sole purpose of honoring your faith. When you stand in that room and see the detail that they put into every single inch, it’s hard not to feel their dedication. Rebecca taught me to see that and I am grateful that I will forever see those things through her eyes.
We left the Reclining Buddha and walked for a while around the complex visiting the other Buddhas and temples. It was a perfect day and we strolled, cried, talked about Bec and took pictures. I have to say though that I can’t help but be sad every time I leave one of these places because I feel like I will never see them again and that I lose another piece of her by leaving. I know it’s silly but I can’t help it.
We walked the main street along the river as Bec and I have done so many times and eventually found our way to S&P restaurant. We discovered this little river-front place on our first trip here and enjoyed a nice meal with Corey and Patty there. We’ve returned on every trip since and somehow always managed to sit at the same table by the dock. As luck would have it, our table was available so Shaun and I sat down and ordered lunch.
Most of the time was spent talking about Rebecca and how much she loved it here. The food wasn’t as good as I remembered it but maybe nothing is as good anymore. I don’t know.
After lunch we took a very hot Tuk Tuk ride back to the hotel where we rested for a bit before doing wh
at Rebecca would have done…..we booked another massage.
Our evening session was at another of Rebecca’s favorite Bangkok places, Ruen Nuad. This is the place we wrote about with high praise because they are masterful at the art of Thai massage. Shaun and I opted for the two hour this time and entered bliss.
By now it was after 9:00 PM and we were already in the Pat Pong area so we walked over to have a beer. That’s when things began to go very wrong for one of us.
I love your writing and the pictures are gorgeous, I'm hooked on every word. I wait patiently for part II...
Posted by: Daphne Anthony | January 01, 2012 at 07:05 PM
What a cliffhanger--you guys need to post the next installment soon!
Posted by: Christine | January 01, 2012 at 05:55 PM
I'm looking forward to reading Part 2 of this story. What a beautiful journey you're on.
Posted by: Melanie | January 01, 2012 at 04:16 PM
what a blessing to have made so many wonderful memories with rebecca at all these beautiful places. i am glad shaun is there to share this trip with you so you can introduce him to the bangkok she loved.
Posted by: Patricia | January 01, 2012 at 04:00 PM